And so I return to rant some more about the princess thing, because I’m pretty sure you did not get your fill the first time.
Timely coincidence! My brigadier passed along to me today a link to this post on Jezebel regarding God’s Little Princess Devotional Bible, which was originally posted on Shakesville.
OK. I am putting down the religious subtext and backing away slowly, because dissing religious beliefs is not my deal and surely not the intent of this post (and I’m not even going to touch the companion book for boys, God’s Mighty Warrior Devotional Bible, which involves a wholly separate nutty grab-bag of gendered stereotypes, starting with how a boy is presented as a mighty warrior and a girl as a little princess, and oh my god please stop me now before I have to writhe on the floor in a fit of righteous fury).
Ahem.
Barbie's Princess Bride game (source: Amazon)
What it comes down to is the deliberate use of the word “princess.” It’s no random coincidence that this long-running princess fetish so closely parallels the ideals of the wedding industry. The bride is, after all, the grown-up manifestation of our collective little-girl princess dreams. Right down to the gown, the jewels, and the prince. Right?
My core issue is with the cultural assumption, reflected so strongly in the language of this book, that little girls want (need) to be showered with adulation and attention, to perform, to be pretty. “Girls long to be loved and adored, and give their heart to their hero,” the description triumphantly proclaims — and that pretty much sums up the emotion of the wedding day, doesn’t it? It’s the bride’s ultimate fantasy to be revered, admired, longed for, lavished. And why shouldn’t she? It’s her special day, after all.
Add to this sentiment a hearty spoonful of consumerism and what you’ve got on your hands, my friends, is a meaningful event wrapped in the auspices of a materialistic melee. A $15,000 dress? Of course! Everyone will be looking at you.
Let me be perfectly clear: I don’t disrespect a woman who truly wants and can afford a $15,000 dress. What I’m railing against is an industry, a culture, that has told us that these kinds of things are vital to the overall experience of getting married, and the overall experience of being a bride. I’m railing against the co-opting of an unattainable feminine ideal (the princess) in order to perpetuate an ethos of indulgence — a day, a week, a month, a year of you deserve all of this.
And I’m railing against the fact that this indoctrination started when we were so young.
A commenter on the Shakesville post named Quixotess drove it home for me: “I also really loathe the idea of ‘every girl is a princess,’ too. Of course everyone is worthy of respect and safety and pleasure, but, like…it seems to me that this sort of ‘you are like royalty’ idea can only result in narcissism.”
The wedding industry? Narcissistic?
…
Naaaaaaah.
I saw that bible in a bookstore and made actualy barfing sound effects with my wife. I love that the customer tag words on amazon for that book are: restrictive gender roles, heteronormativity, sexist marketing,misogyny, and (my personal favorite!)brainwashing.
I don’t like the way the little girl princess persona requires there to be a rescuer. Unless we are talking Paper Bag Princess, who kicked some serious ass.
Nice blog, btw! Love the title.
Brainwashing! Ha! I totally missed those tags. Ahh, that gives me a little hope inside, and maybe a little bit of glee.
I agree. If it has to be a princess (because I must admit it, I totally was into princesses for a period of time as a child), can’t it be a princess who’s a real role model of strength, integrity, decision-making skills, kindness, and ass-kickingness?
Thanks for the kind words! And thanks for stopping by.