The matter of the wedding party has been settled. I still have my three best ladies, and the beau now has his five closest buds. We do not feel compelled to have matching numbers of attendants, but I may still borrow one of his dudes to stand on my side during the ceremony. Yes, he is just that awesome. He wears a bowler hat sometimes, if that is any indication of what awesomeness could aspire to if it just applied itself.
Can I tell you about my best ladies? I realize you don’t know them, so I will forgive you for looking kind of bored. Or for clicking away — NO WAIT DON’T GO! I WILL MAKE YOU COOKIES! *
I have no sisters. I also have no brothers. My parents, I don’t know. My mom got knocked up when she was 20, and then they were done. Fin. I guess I was all they could handle. I grew up daydreaming of a big family, of having lots of siblings like my mother and my grandparents had. I was blessed instead with a family not of blood but choice: A trio of smart, independent ladies without whom I’d be lost.
One lives in the Bay Area. She’s smart as hell and went to grad school and has written actual books. That were published. She sends me texts about Golden Girls in the middle of the night. We like to get together and drink bourbon and fetishize all things Canadian. Don’t ask.
One is incredibly quirky and creative. She makes her own art and lives in Portland, OR. She’s about 15 light years ahead of anyone else in terms of style. I envy her music collection. We can communicate exclusively via high-pitched noises.
The other lives here in Santa Barbara. My local gal. She is the kind of crazy seat-of-her-pants punk-rock lady who would decide on a whim to take a road trip to Las Vegas with a complete stranger. She once challenged Oscar De La Hoya to a game of pool. Now she’s studying to become an EMT.**
I am so glad that they will be a part of our wedding.
Who are you glad for?
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* Well, that is just a lie if I ever saw one.
** All of these things, however, are true.
OMG, i had a dream the other night that i was giving a toast at the wedding (voluntarily of course, and i wasn’t even that drunk!) and it consisted ENTIRELY of high-pitched and other unintelligible noises.
strangely (*sarcasm*) everyone but you and me seemed a bit confused (we however were rather moved and teary-eyed). to conclude my toast, i think i burped and then we started to do the hula with martini glasses balanced on top of our heads (der Hut?) and then a team of tuxedo-clad british waiters (all of whom bore a striking resemblance to mo-mo) started to sweep me off somewhere and then my alarm went off and i woke up.
best. dream. ever. i think perhaps mo-mo and scullers need to attend the wedding. if ever there was an occasion to allow mo-mo his precious gold lame and sequins, this might be it. perhaps flo and peaches could come along.
seriously laughing out loud at that dream!! (deserved writing out, too many lol’s are thrown around willy-nilly)
probably because two of my best ladies can also communicate through high pitched noises so I can totally picture this.
You make me laugh. Your blog is pretty damn funny.
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