I came here to be mad.
Our wedding budget has completely fallen apart. I am talking: Off the rails. I am talking: Either scrapping all of our wedding plans, cutting the guest list in half, or moving the wedding date back six months.
It doesn’t feel fair in a way, you know? We weren’t being ridiculous. We didn’t have unrealistic expectations. We weren’t throwing our money at ice-carved swans. I wasn’t looking at spending 67,000 chickens on a gown. Everything was more or less basic. It should have been easy. It was supposed to be easy.
I know, I know. Wah, wah, tantrum.
But you know what? As quick as all this anger came, it left.
Maybe I’ve been reading the blogs of sane people way too much. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. But I’ve heard so many stories about wedding disasters that were ultimately overcome. And time and again the message is: Do what you need to do. It will all work out in the end.
I am too tired to be mad. I am too creative to allow this hardship to prevail over us. I am too resilient to allow this turn of events to bend my force of will.
So, this is my missive to the universe. Please let me be creative enough to figure this out. Please let my resiliency preclude failure.
And if not, well… somehow, I’ll still end up married.
Just breathe. You will know what the right thing to do for you is soon enough.
Lyn, you rock. Seriously, you’re clearly a smart chick, and I’m sure you’ve picked a sharp partner for yourself as well. You two will figure something out (after some serious hairpulling, of course).* Maybe not what you originally had in mind, or what you’d like best in different financial circumstances, but some way to host an awesome party on fewer chickens. Good luck.
*Any flexibility on catering at this point? I recently went to an great (non)wedding where the couple served a simple buffet of food from their favorite cheap Indian joint (straight out of the disposable aluminum transport containers). It was the best wedding food I’ve ever had, and hella cheap. Lesson learned: regular restaurants are awesome for catering. Alas, I’m locked into my venue’s caterer, so I can’t take this path myself, and am instead just slashing everything that’s not food, booze, or photography. (Which, of course, still leaves a wedding that costs a lot of chickens . . . )
Thanks! That made me feel much better. Yeah, we’re limited on the caterer. We have a short list of venue-approved caterers, however, so if we can’t work with our current one we MAY be able to move on to another. We really don’t want to pare down the food much more, however, and we can’t just up and bring a taco truck to the reception. Phooey. But we shall stagger on. Somehow. Hopefully while preserving the food, booze, photography, a ragged shred of sanity, and ideally one or two leftover chickens.
Wedding budgets just suck don’t they?? We plan to spend mother’s day delivering flowers for our florist to offset some of the cost of the flowers. Not that I’m complaining – I totally appreciate the chance to earn my bouquet.
The chickens do add up to ridiculous numbers even with the basics. So much clucking! But I know you’ll figure it out even if it involves some totally shitty choices and changing of plans, which I know can be heartbreaking when you’ve gotten a certain picture in your head of how things will look/feel. I hope you can keep most of your guestlist… and of course you must keep your wedding date.
I like A Team’s idea on an alternative to traditional catering. And honestly, I think the food probably would be better. Maybe not as fancy, but better.
Nina, I love that your florist was willing to work with you on a tradeoff like that. So smart!
I just received our full quote for catering – now with rentals and staff and all that added in on top of the food price. I want to cry. Seriously, shit. I had no idea. Our budget is now totally off the rails too. Need wine, like now! thankfully it’s 5:30 before a long weekend…
been in your place – well probably not in the EXACT same place. but the shaking my fists at the clouds in the sky screaming “what is going on!?” Car crash, computer crash, medical boards, the confirmation that the high schools in the area we are moving are on a hiring freeze (meaning unemployed hubby), and my fiance’s car is barely surviving and is death on wheels….and no financial help from parents. when I think of all that happening over the course of a TWO week span…it makes me think perhaps my lover and i have no right to get married at all – we have ZERO $$$. But. we will. And it will rock our world. It won’t be anything that Style Me Pretty will care about…nobody will “vote” for my wedding on theKnot…but it’ll be awesome anyway.
Fuck I know this tantrum well. And it’s worth being upset about. And it’s worth being creative about. And you will find a way to make it work. And then you will be married.
Oh, budgets. I’ve been there. The biggest reason we moved locations was because the catering quotes were running away with all our chickens scary. You will figure this out and it will be wonderful and beautiful and everything it was supposed to be, even if it isn’t exactly what you originally imagined.