I told a friend that I had finally found a couple of dresses I really liked. Would she like to see what they look like online?

Her eyes went wide in terror. “No!”

“Buh?” I stammered, a bit bewildered. Usually people at least, you know. Play along.

“Nobody can see what your dress looks like before your wedding day!” she exclaimed. Underneath that smile, she was dead serious. “The only people who saw my dress before my wedding were my mom and my maid of honor. It has to be a secret. It has to stay a surprise until you walk down the aisle. Or else it’ll be bad.”

“Oh,” I said, letting this information simmer in my brain for a little while. “Well, that’s not going to work for me. I’ve already shown the pictures to my fiance.”

She did a facepalm.

“So we’re screwed, huh?” I asked.

“You guys are totally getting a divorce,” she replied.

HAR.

Do you have any wedding superstitions?