Oh my God. Oh, oh, OH MY GOD. I just realized something.

My mother will be here in two weeks for my bridal shower. Guess who else will be here? The beau’s mom and dad. MY MOM IS GOING TO MEET THE BEAU’S PARENTS.* Yeah. None of my family has ever met any of his family. That’s what you get when one set of parents live in Oregon and the other set live in Virginia.

I asked my mom if she was nervous, and she seemed genuinely confused. No, of course she wasn’t nervous. Why should she be nervous? If they don’t like her, she said, oh well. Their loss.

I don’t know how she can be so cavalier. I’m terrified as hell right now. But maybe that’s because when my parents were introduced to my first long-term boyfriend’s parents, things did not go so well.**

Deep down, I’ve long had this secret fantasy that when they finally meet, his mom and my mom will instantaneously bond and become new BFFs. In reality, I know that it’s not likely that an outdoors-adventure-having, Thai-and-sushi-eating, cat-loving person and an indoors-scrapbook-making, fish-and-spicy-food-avoiding, dog-obsessed person will have much to talk about. At this point I am just crossing my fingers and hoping for civility. And dropping strong hints that perhaps the conversation should steer clear of politics.

When did your parents meet your parents-in-law? And how did THAT go over?

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* My dad is staying home for this trip. They didn’t want to have to buy two plane tickets.

** In a word: HAAAAAAAATE. In another word: DESPIIIIIIIIIISE.