Early on in our engagement, we sat down and tried to dial into what we were looking for in a wedding venue. What came out of that session was this list of priorities.
Lately, I remembered this list, and I got curious. How does the venue we chose stack up? Let’s see.
- have a space for us to get ready onsite (if not stay there altogether)
Yeah, hmm, non-applicable. Although this was back when I thought that we’d be getting married hundreds of miles from home, not a mere four blocks.* - feature a gorgeous spot to hold the ceremony in the sun
Check and mark. Now if only the sun will cooperate. - possess an indoor/outdoor reception space nearby
Well, there’s nothing indoor about it, but the reception space is indeed just a few steps away. - permit liquor on the premises
HELL to the YES. - allow us to supply our own booze
Thank ye gods. Money saver! - agree to let us to select our own caterer
Not so much. We had to choose a caterer off of a list of approved vendors. Bah. You win this round, venue. - be within reasonable walking distance to a range of hotels and motels
Fortunately, yes. We really didn’t want to worry about guests getting home safely, because our guests drink like fishes. If fishes drank alcohol. - be within reasonable walking distance to a cool bar for the after party
Yepper. Score! - be freaking unique and awesome in general
Sure. I mean, it doesn’t have teams of waterskiing squirrels in the fountains or a human cannonball attraction, but I guess it does all right for itself. - oh yeah, and of course be affordable.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *sob*
Okay then. Seven out of ten. Not bad, not bad.
Lately I’ve been reflecting on just how instrumental our early decisions were in crafting the wedding we’re having now. That list of priorities became the foundation on which the whole house of hitching was built. And after all the months of searching up and down the California coast for the right venue, the list finally helped us know when we’d found it. Not the “perfect” venue, no, because those don’t exist. The venue that matched our priorities the best.
Yet even within those parameters we could have had it a hundred thousand ways. A cabin-in-the-woods wedding. A retro lounge-style wedding. A backyard picnic wedding. A city rooftop wedding. I think I was in love with all of these places a hundred times over, but none of them met enough of our needs, or our guests’ needs for that matter. And so our museum courtyard wedding is what we got. I don’t regret that, but I still wonder what could have been.**
What were your priorities when choosing your venue? What was non-negotiable, and what did you compromise on?
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* Sidebar: Funny thing is, even after we finally booked our venue here in town — months after I made this list — I clung to the idea of staying in a hotel the night before the wedding for a while. I was worried the wedding day would feel less than monumental if I woke up in my own bed, in my (presumably) messy, disorganized house the morning that I got married. And um, I finally decided that answer is: No.
** Will this ever stop? Hopefully after the wedding? Please tell me it stops after the wedding. Please also tell me that after the wedding I will never have to think or talk about weddings ever again. Please?
Stop wondering what could have been. Stop it. Right now!
I know, I know. Easier said than done. But it does sound like your venue is the best of most worlds (except for the lack of water skiing squirrels, how could you cut them out?!), so kudos on that. And good call on building a concise list of priorities, with the infinite selection of venues, that seems like a godsend.
And I hate to tell you, but no, it doesn’t exactly stop after the wedding. But it does get better. I still wonder what our wedding would have been like in other locations, but because I’m so thrilled with the wedding we did have, I remain satisfied. Once you experience how awesome the wedding you have now is, you’ll likely find out that it was right for the two of you and you won’t second guess yourself like you’re doing now.
I have no regrets, but that’s cause we had a team of waterskiing squirrels! Unfortunately I’m lying, but only about the squirrels. I guess we had it easy with the venue. My first choice was to be married in a nearby ocean-side park that we both love – conveniently the museum in the park offered the perfect sized room with a wall of windows facing the water and allowed our own catering and booze. Oh and an outdoor patio for the ceremony. The whole place was just perfectly us. The sun didn’t even really come out but it didn’t matter, it was gorgeous anyway.
But on the other not-so-easy bits, I have no regrets about those either. I briefly attempted to compare our wedding to other weddings before I realized this is totally futile – it was OUR wedding, there is no comparison to other weddings, real or imaginary.
During planning I sometimes wondered whether I would miss all this afterwards – the creative outlet, the fun of planning a big party, day-dreaming about my pretty dress – but the moment I walked away from the wedding, I was so utterly and completely done with all wedding-planning thoughts. I never want to do that again (and fortunately that’s the plan). Luckily that just applies to my own wedding, cause I couldn’t ditch you guys.
Non negotiable – open bar, with hard liquor. I refused to flask my own wedding.
The Wedding That Could Have Been – right after it was over, there were definitely small things that I wish I had done differently, mostly photos that didn’t get taken. But venue? Nah. My wedding was so amazing in that space that I can’t imagine having had it any other way.
7 out of 10 is damn awesome. You did real good, girl.
Considering we had a gallery booked for our initial venue (dumped them) and could not cancel with our caterer, we had to find a new venue that had a space for a barbecue pit and was VERY affordable. Those were out only two parameters for choosing a venue. Well that and we wanted something laid back.
We like our park setting because we don’t feel confined to white walls (like the gallery) and there is a beautiful view. Plus the caterer can smoke/BBQ meats right next to where we’ll be sitting (which is awesome) and it was less than $400 to rent.
The only problem? An hour to set up and half an hour to break down. And yes, I am crazy. Hope we can pull it off! Haha!
We had a similar timeline and it worked out fine!
Really, Nina?! 🙂 You just lit up my day. Any tips to share?
– Most important: a hugely detailed set-up sheet and schedule that I handed out to everyone who would take it (with contact info for key people who could help out if needed, ie. not me)
– simple set-up – decor was pretty much just simple floral centrepieces and a few signs needed to be put out. I had a box with everything they could need plus random stuff like tape and scissors.
Take-down was really fast. Everyone around just jumped in and helped out. Assign people to take specific things home cause that’ll minimize confusion at the end of the night. We ended up leaving the flower stands and some other small things behind, but that wasn’t a big deal. And I’m actually not sure where my bouquet ended up…
Thanks, Nina! We plan to group things together and put them into boxes. We have two of my former students coming to break down. (Like yours, we have very few decorations- poms, bunting, jars.) I definitely like your idea of making people responsible for things we need to take home. Very good tip! Thanks again!
I want a “teams of waterskiing squirrels in the fountains or a human cannonball attraction.” I didn’t even know that was on my list, but now it is.
I’m pretty sure you’ve recently talked me off the ledge of the Wedding that Could Have Been. I like to think of it this way: next time I want to spend gobs of money on a huge party, I know all the best locations in California. 😀
**Oh man, I hope so. Because if there’s nothing better to occupy my time than thinking about what could’ve been done differently at the wedding, then . . . well . . . someone needs to help me. Also, I’m convinced that after the wedding I’m going to have to reevaluate my spare time. I don’t even remember what I did in the time that is now spent wedding planning. I look forward to figuring it out.
Kim, I totally relate! I ask people all the time what I used to talk about before I got engaged! As for the Wedding That Could Have Been, I look at it like ideas for future (not so grand) parties. Maybe a five year anniversary? Maybe ten? Maybe I’m just telling myself that so I’ll feel better? There are so many great ideas out there, it’s just not possible to use them all. So, I think I’ll just have more (smaller) parties. (and, if I’m lying to myself, it’s totally working.)
I agree with Angie! 7 out of 10 is great! You kick that venue’s butt 🙂 All I wamted out of my venue was an affordable option. So I got that!