New developments! I have them. Witness what’s transpired in the last few days:
- My face has bloomed an awesome new connect-the-dots pattern.*
- I have valiantly battled Getting Sick. I pulled out all my best moves, like sleeping and vitamins. And yet, even after a long holiday weekend, Getting Sick is finally winning. Bah!
- My pharmacy failed to inform me — even though I asked how many refills I had left the last time I went in — that a key prescription was expiring. Thanks, pharmacy! I love you, too. I especially appreciate that afternoon spent feeling like I was going to chuck my lunch from the stress of OH MY GOD I NEED MY PRESCRIPTION IT IS RIGHT THERE BEHIND THE COUNTER BUT YOU WON’T GIVE IT TO ME I HATE EVERYTHING.
- Forget Santa Cruz; I’m the new Mystery Spot!** The cornea of my right eye developed localized redness. It doesn’t hurt, but Visine didn’t clear it up. I switched from contacts to wearing glasses, which is not easy on the ol’ self esteem — despite the hip frames I still associate glasses with being called a nerd in 5th grade, SORRY — and I’m dousing my eye with saline solution a few times a day. And keeping my fingers crossed. So far it hasn’t gone away. Hooray!
- I am bloated. ‘Nuff said.
- The weather. It sucks. The fog burns off late, and rolls back in early. This is so not September weather here.
I don’t know, man. I am reluctant to admit that this stuff is bothering me, but… it is. The acne, bloating, and red-eye is a blow to my vanity. The other stuff — well, all of it, really — is a blow to my emotional system, which is not really holding up very nicely of late. No, I’m not freaking out. This isn’t a panic-panic-run-around-screaming post. I am just weary. I am trying. Trying to take care of myself; trying to stay on top of this neverending wedding to-do list. I have to rest, but I can’t rest. In this game of inches, I am walking a thin line between a rock and a hard place while trying to keep all my balls*** in the air. Yes! I am a mixed metaphor lover’s wet dream.
I know there should be a moral to this story, and I know it should go like this: “What does it matter if I have red-eye on my wedding day? I will still be married.” This is an astute observation. I will indeed be married on my wedding day, regardless of whether my face resembles a road atlas, or whether I’m retaining water, or whether the sun is obliterated by low-lying clouds. But I don’t particularly want any of those things to happen. In fact, I am beginning to get the impression that if any of these things do happen — if, for example, my right eye still looks like I spent the afternoon hotboxing a ’71 Chevelle — I am going to feel dangerously close to throwing a fit due to the unfairness of it all. I tried to take care of myself, you guys! I tried! So hard! Shouldn’t I get an A for effort? Shouldn’t I get a one-day pass for all health-, beauty-, and weather-related items? SHOULDN’T I????
Ahem. Wow. Bridal stereotype much?
All is not lost. There are still 11 days until the wedding. It’s entirely feasible that my ailments, real or imagined, will be cleared up by then. Then again, maybe not. I have to be prepared for that possibility. I thought I was prepared, but I guess I wasn’t.
The point of all of this, friends, is that the wedding zen. It eludes me. I’m sorry. I don’t have it. I can’t find it. I am not freaking out, but I am not zen-tastic. I am just here. A little worse for wear, but still breathing. And maybe that’s good enough?
It better be.
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* I see a pony! Or maybe a deformed marshmallow!
** For those of you who do not live in this strange bubble called California, I present to you, The Mystery Spot.
*** YOU GUYS I SAID BALLS!!!!!!11!
OMG. I think you are inside my head and crazy wedding worry shiznat. I am also red-eyed, pimple faced and bloated. Also the rain and wind is stupid here and doesn’t want to go away. I’m glad that it’s not just me, although I wish no one felt like this!
Things WILL CHANGE in these 11 days we both have left! I must keep telling myself things will be good! Although, after a couple bottles of wine this weekend, I didn’t care about any of that… 😉
Oh my god I want to come hug you (sorry if that’s creepy) but that pre-wedding feeling of doom is fresh enough in my mind that I completely sympathize. Pre-wedding acne? check. Feeling awful? check. Emergency run to the doctor the week before the wedding? check. Totally pissed at how unfair it all feels? check. I would say go to the doc asap for the eye spot, if you need prescription eye drops you’ll want that sooner rather than later. Wearing glasses after getting used to contacts sucks, they feel gross on your face. And whether or not it all goes away by the wedding, makeup, booze, and fun people will help settle the worst of your worries. Photoshop can fill in the rest.
And in answer to your question, yeah it is good enough. Fight the good fight, find joy wherever you can and give yourself a freaken break with everything you need to. Stop dwelling on how you thought it would go. At this point, it’s going to be great no matter how hard you fight it.
oh and as for the weather, sunshine might be cheery but cloudy is way better for photos and staying comfortable. Our day was full of moody clouds and a few rain drops here and there and it was actually perfect.
So I’m usually just a lurker, but I felt the need to comment because, well…
A week before my wedding I also developed an angry red spot on the cornea of my right eye.
I promptly freaked-the-hell-out and ran to the eye doctor. Sure enough, the optometrist told me it was no biggie and to just switch over to my glasses for a while. But not wearing my contacts hadn’t helped so far, so I shamelessly whined that I was getting married the upcoming weekend. He took pity on me and prescribed a drop for opthalmic suspension just to, in his words, “cover it up.” It did the trick (hooray!) and the redness was gone by the wedding day. Moral of the story: if it doesn’t clear up on its own in a few days, you may want to go to the eye doctor and pull the bride card. Because, at 11 days out, you’ve earned the right to use the impending wedding to help you procure prescription eye medication.
Oh, and it’s okay that you don’t have Wedding Zen. I’m pretty certain some of us don’t ever get it (I certainly didn’t until about 10 minutes before walking down the aisle) and that’s okay. Regardless of when/whether the zen arrives, it sounds like you’re holding things together under less-than-ideal circumstances, and I’m pretty sure that makes you a badass. So just hang in there. It’s totally worth it.
I think there is a fair distinction to be made between feeling bad about looking worse than you normally do and feeling bad about not looking “good enough” according to some dubious and unattainable standard set by sinister cultural forces. It’s one thing to be upset that you are bloated and another thing to be upset that you aren’t as thin as, I don’t know, those celebrities who are on raw food diets who admit to being always hungry. Although both types of worrying won’t actually solve anything, I suppose. But isn’t that true of worry, generally?
In the meantime, drink drink water water. Hopefully everything will clear up and you’ll be back to yourself again soon.
Zen, shmen. I never really found it and lived to tell the tale. You will too. Pinky swear. I got sick the week before our wedding, which blew, but it meant I was better by the time the wedding rolled around. I developed a mean, angry zit on my check, two days out. Make-up covered it up completely. I also ran out of a key-prescription (going into a long weekend with us leaving for Australia the morning after the holiday), but my doctor’s office called it in in time. I keep meaning to write about all this stuff because at the time I kept thinking, why am I the only bride who hasn’t found her zen? But now it all seems so small.
Which is my way of saying, hang in there. Things will work out. Enjoy the last two weeks as best you can.
My main zen state was beer-induced, I’m afraid. But it was OK, and it was much more OK once it was over. Good luck, hang in there, and have a beer!
That stuff stinks. 🙁 I’m sorry you are having to deal with all that.
Hang in there. You have time for all of these situations to get better…. You can see the eye doctor and maybe the regular doctor, if you don’t get better ASAP. You definitely have time for the acne to clear up or at least reduce to the level where your make-up can easily make it disappear. (And I think the drinking water idea of Robin HitchDied is really good too!)
Try to take care of yourself as best you can with sleep and good food. And I am sure you will have some people who will step in these last days to help carry you through. I know the last 2 weeks, I just was exhausted and didn’t even think I could make it. But people helped those last couple days after they got in town for the wedding, and things somehow got done. (Or forgotten about.)
And on Wedding Zen: I think it is way to early for zen. I don’t think mine kicked in ’til shortly before the ceremony. I made the choice that I was done worrying about stuff and it was what is was and I was going to be present and awake. So….I think it is partly a choice to shut out the Unimportant and focus on the Important. And partly a gift of that actually being possible. 🙂 But don’t freak out about the zen. Even if it never comes. Perhaps that is a zen-like take on the potential lack of zen? 🙂
I hope things improve for you soon…
Weird. I developed a localized red spot on my eye on Friday. I was brushing my teeth, looked in the mirror, saw the red spot and suddenly, it hurt and I kept blinking. It’s mostly gone now, but it was totally weird.
Also, the acne. I have it, which seems rather unfair that I could be 37 years old and still breaking out like a 15 year old.
The nice thing about acne and bloat and red eye and annoying weather is that they’re easily camoflauged in photos. 😀
Oh, you poor lovely thing!
Check this: I got married 2.5 weeks ago(!!!!!!!!!!!!).
I was exceptionally good about skincare for the month leading up. Water bottle and SPF 70 by my side 24/7? Check. Regular not-too-hot showers with gentle soap and regular exfoliation, in combination with tried-and-true moisturizing regimen? Check. Strict avoidance of activities that could possibly result in visible bruises (including carrying suitcases up and down stairs)? Check, check, check.
And what appeared THE DAY OF??? Two VERY DARK bruises on my arm, a massive back pimple and a big-ass spider bite on my shoulder. Oh, yes.
But we live in a world where Photoshop exists! Make-up, too! And everyone who wasn’t me thought I looked fantastic.
My advice: WATER. CHUG IT. Drink so much water that your pee never has the slightest hint of yellow… all this week, morning, noon and night. It will help everything except your eye and the weather, garunteed.
And GOOD LUCK. Go Team Bride!
I forgot to add: THE ZEN WILL COME.
Maybe two days before. Maybe the morning of. Maybe — as in my case — the instant your sweetie starts reciting his vows.
And maybe not until the day after.
But there WILL be a time when nothing bad matters and everything good gets ten times better. And it will be AWESOME.
Oh my God, reading these comments is making me believe that red-eye during or close to the week of one’s wedding is just a secret rite of passage no one tells you about. I had the EXACT SAME THING happen to me 4 days before my wedding. (It all worked out. Douse with Visine, drink tons of water, keep wearing your glasses. If that doesn’t clear things up, you should still have enough time to get a doctor to prescribe you something. But it will all work out! Promise!)
Okay, yeah, the red eye thing is starting to get weird. A ploy by the ophthalmology industry, seeking to yank money out of the hands of desperate, unsuspecting brides across the world? Why let dentists have all the fun, after all?
I’d totally throw money at them if I could, but I have no health insurance. So I’m just going to keep drinking water, wearing glasses, applying saline solution and the occasional drop of Visine, and hope for the best.
First, take care of your health. Especially if you don’t have health insurance. Can you call in a personal day and just sleeeeeep?
There are eye drops at the drug store that don’t have any preservatives in them. They are in those one dose droppers. I recommend them.
I concur with those who have said water, water, water. And cut down on the salt. Seriously, it’s crazy how much is in processed food. Can you switch to low sodium products for a few days?
And for the face, try just laying a hot washcloth across your face. Now is not the time to experiment with acne treatments. Just low-stress relaxing treatments. It’s probably stress that’s making you flare up anyway.
And last, from what I’ve read, it sounds like you are still too far out for zen. It’ll come. But maybe not until 2 hours till the vows. Hang in and relax. You are so close and I am so excited for you!
First – take a deep breath. It will work out. Chant that to yourself. You still have 11 days! Seriously though, I got married last month with a huge bruise on my arm (thanks lack of ability to walk in a straight line and foresight to anticipate doorjams and chairs), total lack of sleep the night before, and generalized freakout in full throttle. Good news! As mentioned above there is photoshop and really good cover up! And even better? The day of these things will fade to the background. I swear they will. You will be SO busy and so excited to see your friends and family and smile for your pictures that you will literally not be bothered by the small annoyances.
And for your pleasure there is another mystery spot… right here in Michigan…
http://www.mysteryspotstignace.com/
First of all, hugs. So many of them. This is probably all stress related (which you know) so maybe if you try and take a day off or make time for a massage or pampering or yoga something similar, you can start to control (though not eliminate) the stress. Try and see?
But regardless, water and sleep and makeup and eff it will bring it all together. My close girlfriend got a horrid stress rash all over her back, shoulders and chest the week before the wedding. She had a strapless dress. The rash hadn’t gone away by the wedding day but the makeup hid it all. Seriously. I didn’t notice it one bit, and I was looking.
As for the rest, water, super high doses of Emergen-C, NO SODIUM WHATSOEVER (think steamed veggies, potato, rice, chicken flavored with garlic and onion only, etc.) for a few days and the rest will get better. And the nerdy glasses now will certainly help with the eye. You have over a week for recovery.
Also, you forgot about the Oregon Vortex mystery spot, which amused J and I nonstop on our recent trip.
And, um, you’re gorgeous. Even your description of all this awfulness doesn’t convince me that you’re not, because I know better.
I know this doesn’t help you much since I’m post- and you’re pre-wedding, but the red eye thing totally happened to me last week. I’m not sure what the hell happened, but my eye was red – not itchy, just red – and nasty. In fact, I think it was a kind of infection . . . my eye was all gunky and gummy when I’d wake up, you know, just like a dog’s gets sometimes?
Gross. I know.
But mine cleared up naturally and it didn’t take nearly 11 days. So have faith!
i totally broke out, felt bloated the whole nione yards up to the day to. also ryan was really sick at our wedding. somehow he powered through the day and was pretty sick for most of our honeymoon but he still says what an amazing day it was. we can’t stop nature so we just got to roll with it and pack shitloads of drugs and concealer for the day