This one goes out to those two people who voted that they wanted to see only my most unflattering wedding photos. Please accept my apologies for making you wait so long for the horror.
Oh. Did I say horror? I guess that could make sense. Because I am about to open up a bag full of a lot of potentially squicky, uncomfortable stuff. The contents of this bag include several deep-seated insecurities with regard to various body parts, a bunch of truths and lies about cameras, what’s left of your self-confidence, a general sense of mortification, and the struggle to mentally connect the dots between your still image on screen or paper with the live one you see in the mirror every day: Do I really look like that? Is that even the same person?
So I didn’t mean horror, after all. I meant hilarity.
How else can you react to pictures of yourself that aren’t really very good? I suppose you can cry about them, or send them through the paper shredder, or put your wedding dress back on and sit in the middle of the living room floor carefully cutting models out of bridal magazines and pasting them over your own image while alternately guzzling a bottle of raspberry-flavored vodka and cackling maniacally to yourself. Because wedding photos, like everything else wedding-related, seem to carry a special weight. This weight can make it harder to come to grips with bad photos of you taken at your wedding, because their very existence seems to capitalize, boldface, and underline all the fears you had locked away about your looks.
Which happened, of course, the very first time I started clicking through my various wedding pictures. It was so weird to see how simply moving from angle to angle — frame to frame — could induce a fun house effect on my physique. Fifteen pounds were gained, then lost again. Arms transformed from sleek strands of linguini to lumpy sausages. Chins receded and disappeared into necks, only to tentatively protrude again.
I was initially embarrassed, but then a strange thing happened. I started to giggle at my ridiculous-looking self.
We all have our own individual “problem areas,” of course. My most despised ones are my chin and my upper arms. There is just no way around it: my face is rectangular, and kind of masculine. I have a weak chin that’s made even more so by my tendency to clench my teeth together very hard. Add to that the fact that I lost some weight in high school everywhere but my upper arms, and since then no amount of toning exercises can eliminate the flab. These were the genetics I was dealt. There is no changing them. At some point, I have to be okay with that.
Have to be.
Look, I am not insinuating that in these photos I resemble some kind of wretched, hideous, bloated, snaggle-toothed, cross-eyed, deformed, demonic, and malodorous beast not even a mother could love. I am not suggesting that upon reading this you should rush to the comment form and attempt to convince me that NO, I actually look GREAT, omigod, what ru even talking about ur crazy gorgeous lol.
What I am hoping is that you will laugh, too.
Because, damn. Some of them are bad.
And I am also hoping that after laughing you will feel a little bit better, because we all look bad sometimes, don’t we? That doesn’t mean we’re inherently ugly. It means that… oh, who the fuck knows what it means, except that we’re all in this together.
We might as well have some fun, right?
Ah. Oh. This gets things off on the right foot. Excellent job with the mushy, dimply neck. For my next trick, I will grow another chin.
This. This is a face I’d heretofore been unaware of making. But apparently I do make it, and quite frequently, too, judging from the number of times it appears in photos taken during the wedding. Look, I understand that if it’s inherently me, I can’t really knock it, but come on. It’s like I’m grinning, but I’m also grimacing. I am baring my teeth at you: rrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Me bride. Ha ha! BRING BRIDE DRINK! NOW! Ha ha ha! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Arr.
Uh. Huh. Hmm. Uhhhhhh… duh? Ha ha. Huh. Heh.
“The crowd gasped, but by then it was already too late. The bride had contracted a serious case of Sausage Arm. For a few long, horrible moments, the situation looked grim. Then Aunt Hilda suddenly remembered the jar of sauerkraut in her purse. If there was only a way they could dig up some mustard, well. Then they could turn this travesty into a party.”
Guess what I look like in profile? I look like I have no jawline. Seriously. I look at photos of celebrities, and it seems like the space between their chins and their necks stretches on for miles, providing actual definition to their faces. Sort of like this:
The photoshopped image above will always be what I wish I looked like from the side. But no. No, my destiny will be to fulfill my womanly duties by bearing a bunch of children with weak chins and and slack jowls. They will surely thank me later for the fine genetic pool from whence they sprang.
Oh, but it gets better as the evening progresses.
What fine, unfocused, greasy-faced specimen is this?
Surely one who should open her mouth even further.
Seriously, folks. Back away from these goods. Or you might get hurt.
Ouch.
And now I present to you: the dance of the giant velociraptors.
Won’t you join me? No seriously, join me or die.
Further evidence to support the fact that all of my photographs should be taken from below, and with flash.
Listen, I hope you’ve enjoyed our time together here today. Go forth, all ye engaged, and know that there will be wedding pictures of you that you will never want anyone to ever, ever look at. Unless, of course, you choose to post them on your blog for all the internet to see.
Hooray!
[this post will self-destruct in 5… 4… 3… 2…]
UPDATE: A number of kind souls have so far pointed out that, whatever, I look fine in these pictures. So then I realized: you know all those times you’ve been shown a photograph of yourself, and you say, “EW,” and the other person is like, “HUH?” Yeah. I think that’s what is happening here. Those photographs where we cringe and think we look our worst actually appear to others as … normal. Or something. This is kind of disturbing, because either a) each of us is more awful-looking than we actually think we are, or b) society has left us all terribly, horribly warped. I’ll let you decide which is right (hint: it is B).
But seriously, you guys. I hardly look attractive in these things. I don’t know where you get these insane ideas.
oh…well this is…awesome and hilarious, but in a good way, as in your delicious wit distracted me from “horrible” photos of you. you are fantastic for posting this…i plan on sticking mine in a cardboard shoebox and then…lighting on fire with an accelerant and destroying the negatives…i have a special hatred for bad photos of me…especially since my family has a habit of choosing those as their selected photos of me for anything that involves many people seeing them.
I laughed, out loud even.
Love this post.
This is such a great post. First of all, it’s freaking hilarious. But also, you look pretty adorable in most of these, albeit silly.
My profile/chin neck does the same thing. As for celebrities, here’s a secret that I learned from a friend who did some modeling. They stick their necks up and out when taking photos. The only difference between us mere mortals and them is THEY’VE LEARNED HOW TO POSE. And money.
My friend (who used to be a model and actress) showed me this trick. I always end up looking like I’m craning. Which is even worse than my normal jawline and really awkward in company bio and holiday card photos. Not that such things ever happened to me…
Yeah. I’m not sure if I am doing it properly? But I try to stick my neck up and out, and bring my chin forward, too. Except I think sometimes I forget, or I am not very good at it to begin with. Because damn. It’s exhausting to think about the state of your neck constantly.
Yes, I have also heard about this technique from someone who was a past beauty pageant winner.
I can never remember to do it (or when I try I end up like Becca, looking like I’m craning). The friend who gave me the tip, however, somehow always knows where the camera is and is ready to pose. She’s like Barney in that episode of HIMYM.
I loved this post, and fully intend to steal your idea when I get married. I am also impressed with your photoshop skillz. But my favorite thing of all is the invasion of Drunk Face in the last few shots. I am the queen of the Drunk Face Photo. Well, maybe Ke$ha is? But I’m definitely Drunk Face Photo nobility.
Bwahaha! And yes. I think I had the same cry/laugh/omg I make that face a LOT realization when we got our 200 engagement photos back. And considering there will be 1000+ wedding photo opportunities for me to look like an ass…. thank god for selective album choices.
But with any luck, I will be including a velociraptor pose of my very own in my future album. Or perhaps a T-Rex thing, depending on my own version of crazy-dancing. Because that would be awesome and your photo is awesome too.
lady, your neck’s got nothing on my no-neck-ness! i crane my neck and do angry-arms poses a lot to hide all that fat.
I ♥ this. I really do. I have some of my own photos I’d like for you to photoshop for me, K? Mine involves the abundance of eye and brow wrinkles. Can you say, “Correction Tool” please?
Oh man, you had me rolling. I know there are a lot of pictures on the facebook of me getting down on the dance floor (some that also show signs of drinking). Many are not flattering and they have been purposely untagged. It is slightly menacing to think that there will be unflattering wedding photos, but if the facebook is any guide to history, there obviously will be. Thank you for sharing and reminding me of these facts. And making me laugh.
honestly- i don’t think they are horrible. Really. I think your wrinkled nose growl pictures are actually really cute. They look genuine. and real.
I thought your comments were hilarious though- even though I can’t even understand the chin thing.
Anyhoo- i wish I had thought to dance the giant velocor raptor dance at our wedding……. sigh.
The thing is? Even with weird facial expressions and awkward lighting, you look gorgeous in all these photos. And even better? You look happy.
Hilarious post — loved it. You truly have a gift for writing!
Lyn you are hilarious! If I could look as “unflattering” as you, I would be one happy lady!
Oh too good! Yes, the camera catches less-than-flattering images of all of us but you’re definitely awesome for posting them on the internet. I’m not as good at being able to laugh it off but I try and comfort myself with thinking that perhaps the average of the hideous and the gorgeous photos are what I actually look like in a 3-dimensional moving figure.
Also, I can honestly say that my first thought upon seeing your Sausage Arm photo was wow, check out those shoulders! I’m going to go do some push-ups now… 🙂
Bitch, you are still actual hot. Dang!
Velociraptors rule!
Oh dear lord, I do the grimace-y, wrinkled forehead thing too – except that the tendons on the side of my neck pop out and make me look CRAZY. And not in the crazy awesome sort of way. I’m looking forward to seeing photos like that, although I’m pretty sure my photographer will weed out the worst. Which is good for my sanity and self-image.
I also have a weak chin, but I also have a neck that goes on for months. It’s an awesome combo, I tell you what.
But seriously, looking at these photos, I’m thinking “oo, I like the necklace…and how does her hair stay where it is supposed to be? bitch.” So, there’s that.
Oh, and I ditto Nina on the sausage arms vs wicked hot shoulders thing. Because you are totally focusing on the wrong thing there.
This was great. I actually “suffer” from the same crazy chin thing, and every time I point it out people say “that’s not real!” or “you can’t see that!” or “it’s not even true!” But they’re wrong. And while, of course you still look lovely (and like you’re having a seriously awesome time) in these photos, today I feel vindicated that someone else in the world besides me has a weird thing about her chin. 🙂
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
My chin is just fine. But in profile, I’ve got a weird . . . well, it’s not a double chin, and it’s not a waddle . . . but instead of my chin going back seamlessly and connecting with my (short and stumpy) neck, it goes chin, dip down and back up, and then neck. It got a lot of face time on the wedding day, I’ll tell ya that much.
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!?
Can I just say I can relate to discovering a face you “do”? Evidently I crinkle my forehead regularly and I wish I didn’t, but I knew that long before the wedding because somebody pointed it out to me. I think I probably think about how I hold my body more than most, probably because of my theatre training (some of which is highly physical). Sometimes I would rather just be in the moment without being aware of these “outside” the moment thoughts about my posture/alignment, how I am holding my hand, the angle at which I am facing the person with whom I am speaking, or whatever. Oh well, I guess it is helpful in my profession. 🙂 And I should add that despite the fact that I think about this stuff, I am also regularly a bit clutzy. Not sure what that says about me or my perception of my perceptive abilities. 🙂
This is fantastic, and as always, you’re just stealing thoughts from my head and making them your own post and using pictures of yourself instead of me. Copyright infringement! Oh, wait, we can’t copyright thoughts in our brains which we haven’t written down or anything? Hm, give the lawyers a couple years!
We got our wedding pictures last night and I look sleek, slim, and almost like a model (!!!!!!) in a few pictures…some of the pictures of Dave and me together are from, like, a wedding magazine! Then in the next picture I look 15 months pregnant, have THREE chins, am cross eyed and flab-wings that any physicist would expect could give me the power of flight.
You’ve inspired me. I’m going to steal your post idea to give myself a dose of cognitive behavioral therapy – if I expose myself to the anxiety-inducing, horrific shots of myself I may become completely desensitized and actually get over it. Yeaaa I have something fun to do when I get home!
Thanks for this, you totally knocked the wind out of my “Meh I don’t look awesome in every picture and spent $3,300 on these fucking pictures” whine fest.
I think your grinmace is pretty darn cute!
But you look like this because you are a HUMAN and not a shop mannequin! All human beings (including celebs – look at the huge market for unflattering photos of the rich and famous!) can do the rull spectrum from looking bizarre and pale and odd shaped (that’s me, not you!) to looking like you’ve spent hours lighting the scene and applying make up.
You look normal! And I am so dancing like that. I would be disappointed if there were no photos of me looking slightly deranged and dancing like an idiot. That is what we are working towards – the whole aim of the night. I like these photos because they are real and I am so glad you posted them – real people got married that day.
can I just say how jealous I am that these are your BAD pics? cause you totally do not look bad in them. your observations are totally hilarious but so not true!
i think you look as cool as cucumber and as hip as shit.
our wedding photos reveal a number of my chins and while i did feel grossed out for a brief moment, the thought of “shit, i look so freaking happy” trumped all of it.
and you, my friend, look like you’re in such a freaking happy love trance that it’s just so hard to see the “horrible” in these photos.